Something About Cellphones

I don't have a phone, honest. Which makes this next part seem impossible. I'm a texting addict. If there's someone to text, there's a text message being sent through cyberspace to greet them with a rather cheery hello. That being said, I'll also share that I borrow my daddy's phone whenever he doesn't want to use it so I can bombard my friend Sebastian with texts.

I, however, am not like a lot of teenagers who use text speech. No thank you. I'll type the whole. sentence. Complete with punctuation and capitalization. And if I make a mistake, I sure as icy cold clouds am going to fix it. So... it takes me quite awhile to send one text message, and the message is normally twice as long as it would be if I took out all the extra stuff. As it is, I don't care.

Also, I have one thing to say texting. Okay, more than one thing. More like... half a dozen.

Fact A.) Texting while in the room with a real person and you're hanging out and having a conversation is, to say the least, rude. Get over yourself and pay attention to reality. It's only acceptable if it's an emergency.
P.S. the fact that your "bff" just dumped her "bf" who she's been dating for "2 dys" is not an emergency.

Fact B.) The phone doesn't always need to be in your hand. You can put it down. And you can live without it.

Fact C.) Ignoring a phone call while you're in the middle of a conversation with someone else is completely acceptable. What would be unacceptable is if you just answered the phone without even saying anything to the person you just cut off. If it's an important call from your boss/co-worker/client/child/family/whatever, you may politely excuse yourself for a moment to take the call, but only for a moment. Don't go on and on about your plaid shorts.

Fact D.) No, texting someone at 2 am without an invitation is not polite. Wait until the morning. Unless your mummy just died, in which case, you are perfectly entitled to text everyone at 2 am, invitation or not.

Fact E.) Eating and texting at the same time is a very bad idea. Unless your phone is orange juice proof.

Fact F.) When you're in class, you know, you are allowed to ignore the texts that your friend across the room is sending you. School comes first. P.S. read messages and text back at your own risk. If you get caught... that's not my fault.

Fact G.) If you are going to text during your academic time, be my guest to turn your phone on vibrate. It helps to stop the rest of us from being disturbed. Not that they care. They're all texting under the table, too.

Fact H.) You are perfectly welcome to leave your phone home when you go on vacation with the family.

Fact I.) You can turn your phone off whenever you like.


Alright, there you go. Be assured that that's all my opinion. You can't be blaming me for any texting trouble you get into. I'm no expert. I just follow the laws of common courtesy.

Not So Pale

Right, so. When you're a on crutches, you tend to stay inside quite a bit. Today, however, I was outside for a good hour. The resulting sunburn is certain to last me at least a day. Most likely longer. Most definitely longer. And painfully, it will probably peal like old paint. Groans internally. Eyes shoulder sadly.

Also, being alone with a sharpie tends to lead to quite a lot of body art. I now have a good foot of my left arm covered in a skeletal design. It's pretty cool, actually. Unless you're scared of ink poisoning. In which case, I laugh at you. Very, VERY hard. On a totally different subject, I was thinking of piercing my ears. To match my skeletal arm. So... not totally unrelated. Maybe I'll look like a Gothic weirdo. I sure hope not. I don't dress in all black. You'd much sooner catch me in a polka-dot dress. I love polka-dots... sigh

Ahem.

Well. Um.

So... a tough motorcycle guy came up and bought a Mediterranean cook book from our rummage sale today. I laughed so hard when he left, I almost cried. He certainly proved my stereotypes wrong. I can just see him in my head, swaggering up to my friend and I, this "tough" look on his face. "How much for this book?"

Oh, man!

He he.

Haircut Horror

So, maybe you remember a few posts back, where I mentioned my recent haircut. Or perhaps not. In that post, I mentioned that I had had a scheduled appointment in the near future, courtesy of my beautiful mum. Well, today has unveiled the results. And, much to my dismay, instead of making it better, it has, in fact, gotten worse. Why is it that I always think a short haircut would be a good idea? Hmm? I don't understand how I can still manage to delude myself into that conclusion, when time and time again it has proven wrong. Not only is it shorter than I was hoping for now, but it's also cut wrong. What does this world have against me?!?!

and there was much gnashing of teeth

On a happier note, I smell like chemicals. And all that nasty shampoo and product they lather in your hair to make it frizz-less, curlier, shinier... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And really all it does is make it greasier! Ick! But it's nothing compared to the horror that was inflicted upon my mind when I watched her cut off a good inch more than I had asked. Grrr! Well. Blurg. I'm done.

Have some funny haircut experiences? Or just experiences in general? Post a comment!

P.S. The image doesn't include anything as icky as what they put in your hair at a salon. In fact, it only contains things that I knowingly and lovingly apply to my hair to keep it tamed, curlier, and/or not the color of a algae-infested pool bottom.

Grammar Crutches

Today was crazy, and thus very fun. But while I was going about my abnormally busy day, I was pondering something that has bothered me quite often since I got my crutches. What exactly is the verb for walking with crutches? More importantly, is there a verb for that? Crutched? "I crutched across the street" just doesn't seem right, though spell-check doesn't seem to mind. So, tell me readers, is "crutched" the appropriate verb for hobbling around on crutches? Or should I stick with "limped," "hobbled" and "tottered"? For now, I believe that I will. And I will also catch all of you later, with pictures. Maybe. But remember the procrastinator part? ...Yeah... about that....

I suggest you don't hold your breath on those pictures

Update: Well, if you were holding your breath, you can stop now. I stopped procrastinating. On that subject.

Optimistic

So, maybe you've realized by now that I'm really sarcastic. And pessimistic. And strange. And probably mental. And insane. And certainly at least a little bonkers. Or maybe you haven't. In which case, you're all of the above, but worse. Don't worry, I still love you. Or rather, you'd be at the top of my list if I actually know you. Which, you know, I probably do if you're reading this. Anyway, that's beside the point. What I meant to say is that underneath all the sarcasm, pessimism and insanity, I really AM optimistic.

...Or... no, not even then.

Also, I forgot to throw in that I'm a procrastinator. Which is why I'm on here, not doing the homework that I've had all week that is due tomorrow for my Spanish class. Oh, how I love avoiding homework! At all costs. And the cost will probably be some horrible panic sometime today at how little I've accomplished on the subject of Ecuador.

While I was procrastinating, however, I realized something. This blog is dead boring. Not because my humor isn't funny or anything... okay, fine, no it really is not ...but because there are no graphics. My new project: pictures! I will probably end up going back and adding pictures to the past posts, just for the sake of making it look like I had that brilliant idea from the beginning.

Well, cheerio! No, I don't mean the cereal. I mean the British salutation.

Update: Yes, I've added pictures now! This means you're entitled to go back and read all my lovely posts again. Or not, because I didn't add much but the images. So... just view my sometimes-failed attempts at photography. Like the Yummmalicious Piggalicious post. I unfortunately didn't realize how blurry it was until it was up and I'm far too lazy to take it off. So. Sorry about that.

High (On Hellium, Of Course)

Italian food and good bands led to the invention of three new words today: yummalicous, mmmy and om-nomish. My favorite of the three is yummalicious. Mostly cause it's fun to say. But be warned: none of these are going to be taken very seriously if you use them in your English essays. So don't be blaming me for bad grades. Not that you're in school in the summer.... sigh

On a happier note, Italian food is yummalcious, scrumptious, and totally worth the bill. Well, maybe, if it's a once-in-a-while kind of thing. Which it is, for my family anyway. But I really must teach myself how to cook like an Italian. Because Italian food is part of what makes my world go round. And I know that once I'm living in a college dorm, I'm not going to be able to afford even $8 paninis. Which is sad, cause those sandwiches are delectable. Also, a little homemade sushi never hurt anyone. Except maybe when it contained poisonous eels. Or octopus. Or chicken feet. But that's for another post. P.S. I know that sushi is Asian--I promise!

Meanwhile, I've come to be in love with the band Panic! At The Disco. Perhaps you've heard of them? No? Then check them out. Although, I warn you: some of their stuff isn't precisely very appropriate. But if you tune out the lyrics to those songs, they've got some good music underneath! Some of their music is okay, some of it's great, and some of it sounds like they were high (on helium, what else?) when they wrote it. Which, obviously, is the best of all of it(: I'm sure you can find most of their videos ahem--illegally--ahem on YouTube if you want to listen to it. Not a fan of pirated stuff? Vevo and PandoraRadio also provide nice alternatives. Happy music hunting!

Also, how am I doing? 15 posts over 20 days in June... not bad, I think. But what about the post content? What do you like best? What do you want more of? Let me know by leaving a comment!

Summer Boredom

Guess what Miss Blogger is doing today? You got it! Absolutely nothing! Isn't that just what every teenager wants to do on Saturdays? Oh, right. I forgot. There's something called ice cream and strawberries to go together. So I stand corrected: I'm getting fat today. It sounds quite a bit more appealing than nothing. But then again, that's just me.

So, I started therapy... last week, but yesterday I actually got going with it. Swim therapy for hip surgery. It was very nice to feel physically tired after so long of feeling... not physically tired. As it is, I'm sore today. I honestly need to get to work on keeping in shape, or this could turn ugly.

That's all I got for today. Happy Father's Day, daddy, and all the fathers of the world!

Almost Alice

So, Alice in Wonderland. The most bizarre movie ever invented, and undoubtedly one of my favorites. Which goes without saying, since I'm blogging about it. My favorite characters are The Mad Hatter, The Red Queen and The Tweedle Twins. Yesterday, I happened to decide to do sketches of several of the characters, and I came up with three-minute scribbles of random things from Alice in Wonderland. Perhaps I'll post pictures.

Update: Here you go! This is the Red Queen (but hopefully you can tell). At the time of the original post, this sketch was only pen. Since then, it has gained some color. So. Enjoy!

P.S. What do you think of it? Personally, I love it. But seriously, is it as good as I hope it is?

You Look Depressed, Is That Hot Dog Getting You Down?

It's me again. Don't look so excited, you. You could maybe be slightly happy to hear from me. Please? Oh. Fine. I suppose I'm not all that exciting. Despite this fact, I think I'll bore you with another post. Or rather, not bore you, hopefully. Though that is highly up to you whether you find this all amusing or not. Anyway, I will continue on the subject of haircuts. Which has nothing to do at all with the title of this post.

Because I am neither patient nor very bright, I decided late last night it was about time that I had a haircut. So, this morning I proceeded to straighten my otherwise curly hair and lop off quite a bit of it. In the front, because I am most certainly one to jump the gun. The result was actually rather pleasing, besides the fact that it wasn't exactly what it was supposed to look like. The misfortune of it all was that I did not realize my mum had in fact planned a professional hair appointment for me. Which is all good, actually, since I refuse to try and trim my hair for fear of it going beyond repair.

Next subject. The whole title of this particular piece actually does have a context, despite it seeming to be completely random. Well, it is completely random nonetheless, but that does not erase the fact that it still does have a context. This context was during dinner time (hence the whole hot dog part). Actually, to be more precise, after dinner.
I was staring at the hot dog on my plate, considering what it would be like to be a cow, when my middle brother, Jazzy, said, "Are you alright? You look depressed. Is that hot dog getting you down?" Which I laughed at, of course. I told him to get along and that I would be down to watch our movie when I had finished eating the unfortunate piece of meet. I told him it could be awhile. He laughed.

Alright, well, and a parting little quote for you all to take a stab at. "You said that you would die for me. You must live for me, too." Okay, and also, the hint: it's lyrics. Have fun!

Peculiar People

While looking up bizarre holidays, I discovered that my birthday, January 10th, is on Peculiar People Day.

Coincidence?

I'm thinking not so much.

I kinda like it. Another ironic thing is that my half birthday (July 10th), happens to be on Clerihew Day. Edmund Clerihew Bently was some sort of odd poet, who happens to be rather funny.

Don't worry, Edmund! We can be peculiar together! Oh, dear. You don't like that idea much? Well, then. Fine. Be that way. I'll be peculiar By. My. Self. That's right, be jealous.

Mwahahahaach cha coughs, coughs, coughs

I'm sorry, dear, did you say something?

No, nothing.

Mmm...

Weird Look

Alright, I'm done. Have a jolly Pop Goes The Weasel Day.

P.S. The web page design for the Bizarre American Holidays website is terrible! Please, do me a favor, and if you need a website design, hire someone else.

Chicken Lickin'

Okay. So, I'm not all that fond of licking chickens, just so we're clear on that. However, I would like to share a rather funny story about this one good time I had, and it has to do with chicken.

Note: if you're vegetarian, or easily prone to vomiting, please abandon this post for all of those with sturdy stomachs.

If you've ever been to the capital of Wisconsin, you'll know that there is quite an ethnic variety (though certainly nothing close to some other places). Madison happens to sport quite a lot of different kinds of restaurants. Which happens to be a very bad thing, for me, when someone asks me to choose where exactly I'd like to eat. It helps to narrow it down to one ethnicity, and then go from there.

I was in Madison for the day with my mum, cousin and aunt. My aunt suggested that I choose where we eat, and automatically I cringed. Firstly, I had no idea what kind of food I wanted to eat that day, and secondly, I was unfamiliar with the territory. It's hard enough for me to pick a restaurant when I know what's around. Thankfully, my mum told my aunt that I like sushi, and so we chose to go to a place that serves... sushi.

We ended up at a buffet, and I dared my cousin to try something really outlandish. What did he come up with? Well, besides the mini octopus, some strange-looking fried items, and several other unrecognizable foods, he got some sort of chicken feet, complete with some red sauce that made them glisten sickeningly. Needless to say, no one ate the one foot he put on his plate. It was mostly to look at:


Lesson learned: never dare your cousin to try something strange. You may end up loosing your appetite (;

Bon appétit! (No, I'm not French, and no, I have absolutely no clue if that's the right way to spell it.)

Spicy

Unfortunately, today I'm out of clever. And awesome. And sleep. But I'm going to blog anyway, because I need something to do and maybe while I'm totally fried, my mind might just spit something hilarious out. Or maybe... not. So just bear with me and keep in mind that this is not a good day. And about the title? Yeah, it was the first word that came to mind. Spicy!!

Alright. So. If you've not been on the random train very long, you may not know that recently I had hip surgery. As a result, I received a pair of horribly ugly, plain crutches. And do you know what is in store for these silver monsters?

That's right:

SPRAY PAINT

Pictures may or may not follow. More likely not. But we shall see, because I really do like to take pictures. And it looks like this project is going to involve quite a lot of paint. Anyways, I'm done now(: Have a nice day...

Update: I didn't ever get around to actually decorating my crutches, and since I'm not using them anymore, I decided it would be a waist of time. Sorry about that. I'm just as disappointed as you are.

Berry Monster

It's that time of year to go berry hunting; to make jam and preserves and pies and ice cream; to get sunburned in the field; to laugh and have a good time. And this year, for me, to stand and watch everyone pick berries while simply devouring the ones I managed to pick up. Definitely a good deal. Delicious berry blood dripping down your chin... erm, I mean juice!... and enjoying the lovely smell of sunshine and ripe fruit.

As you may have guessed by now, I went strawberry picking today. And mmm, was it yummy! And fun, of course. And I got to watch a little nearly-two-year-old boy pulverize berries in his fists before stuffing them in his mouth while the red guts dripped down his hands. I believe my fond nick-name for that little boy is going to be Berry Monster. And he was simply adorable.

In an hour, my mum and two younger brothers picked about 27 pounds of berries. Believe it or not, the family we went with picked at least triple that, probably more. They happen to have a larger family, but I stand to say that 81 pounds of berries is a rather substantial pile of red juiciness. I think we cleared out the part of the field that we picked(:

My suggestion: go berry picking! Very rewarding fun, I must say. Oops, got some juice on the keyboard... oh well. The computer would like a little love, too.... And the most suiting part of me going berry picking is that when I was little, I dressed up as a strawberry for Halloween. To this day, my cousin calls me strawberry.

Blogs

Okay, yeah, it's been four days. Ish. I'm still alive. I'm not ignoring anybody. I'm not mad. I'm not in a coma. I'm perfectly peachy. Or rather, not, but that's another point. Anyway. I promised a description of each of the blogs I follow, so here goes:

MyLifeIsAverage (MLIA): this blog is a collective effort. Anyone can post. Each post is a brief story about someone's day, and they're usually rather hilarious. Which I find quite helpful on those days you just want to chew glass. It is updated frequently, with hundreds of new posts, and it's helpful not to expect to read every. Single. One. or you might end up with a brain tumor. Or a case of hysterics. Either way....

Cake Wrecks: probably the only blog that happens to depict baker's mess-ups that accidentally (or purposely, for all you know) made it to the customer. Each post is fraught with laughs and puns, and often times you find yourself cringing at the disgustingness of some of the pictures. "How could that possibly be a cake?!?!" But you'll have to check it out for yourself.

EPBOT: written by the blogger of Cake Wrecks, EPBOT's posts are more about the writer's geekiness and cool finds. I positively adore it. And her. And her creativity. And her humor. Certainly a bit gut-wrenching, but that's all of the fun, right?

Owl City Blog: there's nothing quite like the words of a song writer. And this blog happens to be straight from a song writer's fingertips. Adam Young, more commonly know throughout the world as Owl City, blogs about his career and home life in the words of a true...erm... poet. Or whatever. Anyways, it's a good blog.

Willow's Blog: is the blog of a friend of mine, consisting of life stories and suggestions that you take her advice. Good, bad, or horribly hilarious, I wouldn't really know. Anyhow, just check it out.


Hope you enjoy! Happy reading.

New Stuff

Okay, so, I know this is directly after the last blogpost, but you know what? I forgot to mention some things in that incredibly long script. So. I'm here again.

You may or may not have noticed that the blog has recently been... erm... "fleshed out" (no zombie pun intended. And NO I am NOT an evil scientist who has made my written word into a living person). Most likely scenario: you haven't noticed. So, that's why I'm here. I would like to point out to you the new and not-so-cool things you can now do on the blog. I promise I'll make it quick.

Over on your left-hand side, you will find the usual things: followers and archives. But in addition to those handy things, there are two new features.

Now, the screen should look like this:

< Not So Normal:
< One Teenager's Sarcastic Attitude and Morbid Sense Of Humor

Then below that:
< search not so normal...
< archived posts...
< what I'm reading...
< other readers...

Now, just so we're all up to speed: the search bar can be used to search for anything in this blog, including links and so on. Archived posts are all the posts I've made. What I'm reading is a list of blogs that I follow (which I shall describe each in turn, probably, come tomorrow, so I don't drive you all insane). And other readers is the list of followers my blog has (thanks guys, by the way!).

'Kay, I'm done now. I promise. Hasta manana! (Manana rhymes with banana. Just so you all know)

(Hiding)

This blogpost is invisible to all with non-ninja powers. Therefore, you cannot see it.


The ninjas are watching you....



Okay, just kidding. I'm far too bored to go without a blogpost today. Anyways(: I attended an A.S.S party at the home of some dear friends of mine (Annual Start of Summer. What were you thinking it was, dummy?). Anyways, I love you, you're not a dummy, I promise. Also today, I wrote about six million Spanish flash-cards, complete with conjugations. And I was not a happy camper when I discovered the likeliness of carpel tunnels. That's why I like typing. No worries. Except when your fingers are cold and stiff, like a dead person's, and then you can hardly get them to hit the right keys, much less do it rapidly....

Moving on. (Yes, those are the boxers I got a few days after surgery. Aren't they adorable?) One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish. Hmm. I wish I could rhyme as well as Doctor Seuss. But I suppose nobody can rhyme as well as Doctor Seuss, because he stole all the good ones. How unfair. See, my rhyming skills don't go further beyond "two and moo and goo." Well, actually, they do. See? It rhymed! I'm not that terrible at this after all. Erm. Rather, I would like to pretend I'm not. So shh, please, join the conspiracy to keep me from discovering how terrible a rhymer I am.

Next topic of discussion today is: missing the party tomorrow for my dear cousin's graduation. Something I'm not too crazy about. But. The long drive+therapy machine+annoying little brothers (love you guys!)+pain+everything else=one grumpy child. And also, I'm not very pleasant when I'm grumpy. And on top of that the car will be quite a bit roomier without me taking up valuable space. Nonetheless, I am sad to miss it. So, for the graduate: happy graduation! I love you! xxx. And for my daddy: yeah, prepare for one mopey girl. And that concludes today's rather un-hilarious blogpost.

P.S. The ninjas are still watching you.

Mulan and Ice Age 3

So, today... well. Today was interesting. But last night, now... it makes me giggle just thinking about it. So. I was sitting in a chair, moping about how unfortunate I was (with my surgery and all) and I overheard just one part of a very long and serious discussion my two younger brothers, Jazzy and Li-Li were having. Now, keep in mind that it took me until tonight to realize what on earth they were talking about. This is the only thing I heard: "I woke up one morning married to a pineapple. An ugly pineapple...." Naturally, I burst out laughing at my seven-year-old brother Li-Li's rather hilarious, out of context comment.

Tonight at dinner, I discovered that the quote was actually from a movie, which was slightly disappointing. I thought he had actually married a pineapple, making that pineapple my sister-in-law. A thought which I cannot imagine as a anything less than silly. But... it was still funny. Anyways. Along with random Ice Age 3 quotes (which is a rather funny movie, I might add, and not at all restricted to people under the age of 13), over our pizza, the three of us also sang very heartily the song "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" from Mulan at the top of our lungs.

Mulan happens to be my favorite Disney princess and movie, just for future reference.

Yes. I think I could pass for a very cool older sister. Maybe. Haha. Anyways, that was all the missing hilarity from two days, so if you didn't think it was funny, I fear that I'm losing my touch. If I had a "touch" to begin with, which is questionable. Toodles, and thanks Willow for visiting and listening to my complaints. It has been fun(:

P.S. I apologize for how long this post is... but I think it was worth it.

WARNING: Still Missing That Hilarity... Oh, If You Happen To Find It, You're Ninja

I have decided that from now on, there shall be a quote of the day whenever I feel like posting a quote. So... yeah. This started yesterday. But to make it more fun, I think I'll post a quote, and then you guys... whoever you are... can guess where it's from, and whoever gets it right... gets it right! Well, then. I'll give you a hint for yesterday's. It's a movie quote. Not that difficult.

Anyways, today's quote is actually TWO quotes, but they're from the same movie; you kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. And, you get extra "points" (more like awesomeness) if you can guess the name of the character who had these lines. Well, here they are: "Oh, don't get your panties in a wad" & "Umpalumpa here is your taleback."

Now, the hilarity from yesterday is still missing, and it will most likely never be found. If you DO happen to find it, feel free to post it in the comments!

I realize I have a grand total of like... four readers (cheers for you guys!), and I know every single one of them. I mean no disrespect, of course. You're all amazing and I love you, and that's the only reason you got my blog address. And because I thought you were the least likely to find my sense of humor remotely offensive. But if I DON'T know you, it would be amazing if you would comment and show your appreciation for some awesome talent here. Or, I suppose, depreciation, depending on where you stand with my *ahem* interesting sense of humor.

Happy last day of school, dears. You're all free! And I'm still stuck... on crutches... doing Spanish and Math homework. What fun.

(Lazy Enough For This To Go Untitled)

So, it turns out that walking on crutches is very similar to walking on stilts. Only... you don't get the benefit of being taller. And when you use crutches for fun, you don't end up with a sore body. Which, unfortunately, is the result if you go very far on crutches without the use of both your feet. So, lesson learned: I need more upper body strength for this to work.

Moving on. The topic of hilarity today has gone missing. I apologize, and will post it as soon as it has been located. Have a good Wednesday!

"Mawwiage is whaht bwings us togevva today..."

Fourth Day After Incisions

Today I saw a quote. It said "Smile. It's the second-best thing you can do with your lips." Being slightly blonde, it took me a good long time to realize what the first-best thing was. My thought process went something like this:

Talking? No. Definitely not. Some people talk and I wish they would shut up.

So... singing?

Hmm. Not bad. I could live with that.

Actually, wait. What about all the tone deaf people? Oh, lord.

shudder

Never mind. Must be something else...

Hmmm... Mmm.... What could it be, what could it be?

OH!


light bulb appears

Kissing! I get it now....

And that, my friends, is the pace that my brain works at.

I would like to thank everyone who has visited or sent their love, prayers or cards to me, once again. It means a lot. xxx

And Ginger, I had brownies for breakfast(: Thanks again, darling!